Deceived.

I was probably one of the last girls my age to hear about '50 Shades of Grey': a new erotica written by E. L. James. I'm aware that many of my friends have read or are currently reading this book along with the two others in its series. Though there is much to be said about the themes in the novel (abuse, to name one) and the interesting relationship that is had between 21 year old Anastasia and 27 year old Christian Grey (whom many of my friends claim to be 'captivated' by), this blog post is not about these things. I have not read the book, but I've heard enough about it to know that it's finally time for me to say something.


I'm talking to Christian girls. Women of God. I have no idea if you've read this book or not, but that's hardly the point. In this post, I want to address the fact that all too often, as Christian women, we are very quick to ask our fellow brothers in Christ to work on their addictions to porn in its various forms. However, if only we were as quick to 'look at the plank in your own eye' (Matt 7:3-5) we would discover that porn is just as accessible and dangerous for us as it is for them.


It may come in different forms, but it still exists. We may not walk in to a petrol station and see it, we may not spend the night surfing the internet for it, but we will surely watch movies, tv shows, read books and refrain from identifying anything that WE need to work on. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with a chick flick, I'm simply asking, are you willing to put in just as much effort as your male Christian mates would at eradicating opportunities to get sucked in to sin?


Don't forget that in the story of the Fall (Genesis 3), although Adam didn't speak up to keep his wife from sinning, Eve was selfish, and was deceived by the snake. I hear about some great sermons these days directed at guys, and how they need to be better men and stand up so that their wives don't fall into sin while they stay silent, as Adam did. But here's a different message, girls. Regardless of what Adam did or did not do, Eve chose to sin against God. She chose to take matters into her own hands.


Let me ask you today. When was the last time you checked your motives in watching a romantic movie? When was the last time you checked your motives in reading a romantic novel? When was the last time you passed off watching a specific tv show even if it's "just winding down" or "just for fun"?


Let's get specific. I'm talking about True Blood. I'm talking about the new movie coming out - 'Magic Mike' - about male strippers. I'm talking about 50 Shades of Grey. I'm talking about looking at pictures of actors or singers on the internet. I'm talking about Greys Anatomy. Ask yourself: "Why am I watching this?" "Does God want me to be watching this?"


Our actions have implications. Not just for us, but for the guys in our lives. How do you think they feel when we don't make the effort to stop looking every time a guy takes his shirt off in a movie or on tv? Let's not be stupid, this stuff is real. Just as we would feel inadequate, unworthy and unappreciated if we knew a guy we loved was looking at porn, what about when our more 'subtle' forms of eye candy make them feel like dirt? On top of their struggles with porn, we leave guys feeling inadequate. From conversations with male mates in my life, their number one struggle is with feeling adequate. They just want to be enough for us. They want to be man enough for us. How will they ever overcome feelings of inadequacy (I'm talking about practical things here, not in terms of inadequacy in sinning - we must always point them back to Christ with that) if we can't also step up to the plate and say no to sin in our lives.


First and foremost though, when we pass this stuff off as ok to watch, read, see or hear, we're sinning against God. Girls, I urge you, don't forget what the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 6:12-20, that "I have the right to do anything, but not everything is beneficial. I have the right to do anything - but I will not be mastered by anything," "your bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit" and "You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honour God with your bodies." That includes our eyes!
Romans 6:2 - "What shall we say then? Shall we go on sinning that grace may increase? By no means. We died to sin. How can we live in it any longer?"
2 Corinthians 3:18 - "We all, who with unveiled faced contemplate the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."


If you know you struggle with this stuff, but can't seem to eradicate it from your life, here are some ideas.

• Talk to someone about it. Get it out in the open. Just as guys will say, porn is a silent killer. With the further understanding that women's forms of porn are more subtle and silent, you may very well be the first person to ever bring it up.
• If you have a partner, talk to them about it. It is SO important that these struggles are known and worked on! If you're scared to talk about it now, it'll only result in a huge mess later on.
• Ask God to convict you of the things he wants you to get rid of. He will, trust me.
• Practice saying no to watching things or seeing things.
• Practice turning your eyes away from things.
• Don't pretend like you're perfect in this area. We're all flawed and if we ask, God can show us what we need to work on if we're blinded to it.

If you're not a Christian and you're reading this, that's awesome. Many people might say to me, "you're just missing out on a whole lot of hotness by not watching this," or whatever. But I'd rather gauge out the sin in my life right now if it means eternity with Jesus in heaven. I'd also rather put my boyfriend before myself now so that when we're married, that translates into a healthy, Godly marriage together later on. I'd rather think of what builds him up than what builds me up.

Thanks be to God for his grace in everything. We're not perfect and yes, we will stumble. But I'm a fighter, and I hope you are too. Here's to getting back up and trying again.


Set the standard, and know why you've chosen it.


Sarah